Weather: Scary windy. "Debby" is kicking things around in Florida.
Mood: Meh to the negative. I have a pit in the bottom of my stomach. (this is how ulcers start)
This decision about the house is really unsettling me. I feel like a deer must feel caught in the headlights. Sometimes, I am absolutely paralyzed about what to do, but I can't let this keep me from making the choice---and soon. I just feel really PUNY when facing all of this going head to head with the bank thing. Who doesn't? Imagine an tiny ant at the base of a massive dark mountain; that's about where I'm standing now. Of course; this sounds like an exaggeration---it even feels a little like one and yet; it's both real and exaggerated. Surely though, a decision in any direction MUST be better than all this!
As the years have gone by, I've learned a few things---that I understand many things even less. You would think it would be the other way around. Especially when it comes to PEOPLE, the more I know, the LESS I know. I find myself wishing lately for the days of my childhood naivety. I sometimes yearn for that one slice of ignorant bliss on a china plate---and a hug from my mother.
I've actually thought about packing up my clay for awhile; but something tells me this isn't the thing to do. Perhaps I should listen, eh?
On a separate note: stevia in my hot tea rather than sugar is NOT good. ULGH. Perhaps organic sugar is the way to go. I've cut out so many things in my diet, you wouldn't believe me. (Especially when you see I'm still a fatty) I'm still waiting for the pounds to start sliding off. It's uh. . . it's not happening yet. I'm even doing a bit of Yoga! I have a fruit smoothie in the morning, a pure veggie smoothie in the afternoon with some nuts and usually a meal of beans at night. I have whole grain pasta for dinner once in awhile with just squash, tomatoes, onions, garlic and mushrooms tossed in---YUM! The vegetarian thing (along with an attempt at vegan) originally started for health reasons, but an unexpected spiritual component kind of bunny-hopped on into my mental cavity and has become the main reason for it.
I am going down a strange road folks! (said in my best Elmer Fudd voice)
Peace All,
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